Why did I start a blog??

Why did I start a blog?
On a regular basis throughout my adult life I have come full circle to this same place I am at right now. I'm not talking about a physical place but moreover an intangible place. I know I'm at this 'place' again because I feel restless and dissatisfied. I begin questioning, and trying to effect an understanding of what I'm doing with my life and am I giving the life I have the justice it deserves?

They're very 'deep' questions, which makes them all the more arresting. The questioning can go on for months, usually only satisfied once I've made some sort of change in my life. Usually once the change is made, I 'feel' better - I appear to anyway. However, at a later stage in my life the questioning begins again. Usually a little chatter in my head that invents itself as a feeling of frustration and then dissatifaction. These feelings are only the tip of the iceberg, and I know this because if I dare venture a little below the surface of those feelings, there I will invariably find: lack of purpose; confusion; annoyance (at the system of working to survive); self evaluation of my contribution to my community; and a little sadness too (which for the record isn't my default mode of operating).

So, why did I start a blog? I started this blog because I wanted to know if anyone else goes through a similar circle that I do? I'd like to try and understand my circle by hearing about other's circles. I'd like to share our understanding of this sense of dissatifaction and with that understanding help each other to move into a circle that spirals upwards and morphs into an arrow that discovers new sensations and experiences which feel like they're contributing and have a sense of purpose for all of us.

I wrote this blog for us, to share and contribute to and to help us all reconnect as a community, because I'm pretty sure we are all feeling similar sensations about our lives, and we're all accepting those feelings as though they are normal. And I don't think they are, I think there is a more rewarding way of existing that feeds our wholeness in a way that means we contribute to a community that grows and swells with goodness and in return feeds us too.

This is my first attempt at verbalising the circle of feelings I've experienced throughout my adult life, and I feel better knowing that someone may read this and connect and our community will begin to extend and our understanding as a result. If we understand what is happening then we can manage it and change it in a way that means it won't repeat years down the track.